| (no subject) |
[Sep. 7th, 2006|02:07 am] |
drunk and in college.
 |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 28th, 2006|04:04 am] |
i have a really close guy friend.
little does he know that i've sort of kind of in secret liked him.
he kissed me tonight under a porch on the basement stoop.
so what happens now ? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 3rd, 2006|12:30 pm] |
prom 2006
was fucking great. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 15th, 2006|12:07 am] |
hi martha.
where've you been lately ?
your head is somewhere else.
completely.
you're fickle.
you're everywhere.
you're in and out of the doctor,
group therapy,
and yet you continue to reach for your pack of marlboro lights.
on the bright side you quit smoking pot for real this time, right ?
it's always for real this time, isn't it.
it made you puke last weekend.
because you tanked your beers as usual.
you can't handle the drug overload, honey.
you used to.
but you're far from where you used to be.
blame the coked up "best" male friend you were so in love with.
rolling in the high life.
in and out of seratonin bursts.
you just need help, don't you ?
ok.
well.
here's a cigarette. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 7th, 2006|12:07 am] |
i got invited into a chat room today by one of nick's friends
only to be laughed at and degraded.
so i left.
i assumed that everything between us was in the past
he brought out the worst person in me,
and i'm so happy and better now
but this just upset me so much. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 20th, 2006|01:44 pm] |
i'm going west
i'm the breeze
+ earth
+flow
rock
hip
motion -> to the shore
with mist
my threshold
with mist
i crag the motion
facs shining with soft
and angelic
i want a feather pillow
to hold my tension
because i'm worth a honey packet
and three cents.
do you make sense ?
will i see you tomorrow?
writeres need variety. as i read this book it's the same repetition and pattern and my mind can't flow in consistencyi've never been consistant anyway bceause i moved eight times and when i finished unpacking we moved again honey that's nine !
i am spiraling into a bad movie or that christmas party where it's silent and we all look to one another with a sheepishly comatose expression. i'm doing hard drugs in my bedroom with my friends and passing out cold on the floor and spiraling more and moreand moreandmoreandmore. ther e is no explanation at allllll and i'm finishing up.
can you please love me for my personality?please? |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 13th, 2006|05:31 pm] |
i feel as if i'm losing my best friend.
and i'm so upset
so i'm just avoiding her,
which i'm sure isn't helping any.
so.
i'm lost.
♥ |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 2nd, 2006|04:40 pm] |
i made it to school by 3rd period,
where 10 minutes in i felt clammy and queasy.
so i asked to go to the nurse.
she got worried, but i insisted on staying for my next period.
which i did.
then i went home and straight to my doctor.
he said it was for sure a concussion, but i was definately neurologically ok.
just a little traumatized and shaky.
he sent me to the hopsital where i got 7 skull xrays.
and they're looking for a hairline fracture.
everything "looks ok"
but they'll call tomorrow.
and now i'm watching arthur.
so it's a good day.
:)
♥ |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 1st, 2006|02:22 pm] |
a girl in my PE class accidentally dropped the end of her 45 lb bench press bar onto my head today.
at first i didn't really notice, but five minutes later i had a shooting pain.
i asked to go to the nurse to just grab some ice,
but on the way, i got dizzy and couldn't see straight.
so i finally wobbled in, and they did the "follow my pen with your eyes",
and they shined a light in them as well.
and said i had a concussion
i then had to lay down from the dizzyness.
so they forced me to go home, because i said i didn't want to.
so now i'm laying here waiting to get worse / better.
blahh
♥ |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 26th, 2006|12:09 am] |
i absolutely love my father, and i don't think i say it enough. tonight was far beyond enjoyable. we attended the rolling stones concert. the entire drive out we talked about the music interests we share. i listened to stories about every concert he went to. every alice cooper show he loved. ever fact he knew of the rolling stones. every song. every moment. we arrive and we wander around and drink beers together for 2 hours. we talk about travels and how i feel about college. he tells me stories of his friends drunk and puking in texas. he tells stories of setting up for black sabbath. he tells of his favorite who concert. we watch the most amazing band alive. we have a couple more beers. he quotes to me 'the rolling stones are the greatest band because when the beatles were singing 'i wanna hold your hand' the rolling stones were singing 'get the fuck out of my way''. we sing. we get loud. we drive home and talk about how much fun we had and how we shall repeat it again sometime.
which i look forward to. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 24th, 2006|08:17 pm] |
if you don't like only me
stop wasting my time. |
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martha_saur's journal
